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Vawentwines Day! Or My first recollection of Love.

By Ernesto Araica

Twitter: @Nestopesto

Valentines Day, now, is either a day where you run around looking for that special thing for that special someone and life is great and grand and wonderful.

"Good thing Joe Boxer was having a sale! She’s going to LOVE this shit!"

Or you’re making it adamantly clear that you hate everyone and everything that has to do with love.

"Fuck you ducks! You guys got each other and I got nothing. NOTHING!"

But back in 4th grade, I remember the elation I used to get buying Valentines day cards for the kids in my classroom. I’d go to Walgreens with my parents and look for the best ones to my liking. Most likely, a movie tie-in that would take advantage of the Holiday.

This says, I love you but i’ll also avenge my parents death if you mess with them.

Feb 14th would come and it would quite honestly, be a day where the teacher just sits back and lets us decorate lunch bags so we can go around and toss paper into paper lunch bags to express how we all feel about each other. Such a waste of paper now that I think about it.

"You’re all sick!"

My first crush however would get the most intimate of Batman inspired Valentine Day cards. Joker’s would say “You’re my funny Valentine HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA” which wouldn’t work. Batman’s would say..

What does that even mean Batman? I love you so much I’ll hit you with my car? Not something a ten year old boy wants to convey to the girl he’s crushing on. Good job Batman.

But hidden behind all the Robin & Batman love confusion sat Selina Kyle. The prettiest superhero/antihero in my eyes. It had a girl on it, check. It said pretty much what my heart intended it to say on Valentines day, check. AND you had to only give her that very one and toss the other out to know she was the one to get it. Also, you didn’t want to give it to a dude on accident.

"For the last time Fred! It wasn’t intended to you!"

I remember passing out my Valentines to the other kids how the 7-11 guy gives you your items. And then I reached her. Without making eye contact dropping it into her perfectly made bag. You can practically see your unborn children in the bag, and then high tailing it the hell out of there! You don’t want to come off desperate! 

"HappyValentinesbeckyokayillseeyoubye! Get the fuck out of the way Fred!"

I would sit at my desk, butterflies doing their thing in my stomach. Watching her mull over every single one until she came to yours. Suddenly, you didn’t want to live anymore, what if she didn’t like it!? What if she stood up in class and pointed at you and screamed in terror!? Maybe I could get it back by diving through the classroom and slapping it out of her adorable little hands. 

"Happy Valentines day!!"

She opens it, she reads it, and she puts it in the pile with the other ones. I begin to question her reactions. During, Recess I ask her if she liked it, casually with my hands in my pockets. She is surrounded by the miniature cock blocks of the time. She said she thought it was okay, she wasn’t a Batman fan and if I wanted to play tag with her and her friends. I tell her with confusion and elation in my voice “Sure!” She tells me to get six more other boys to play and to meet on the field. And thus began my complete and utter confusion with the opposite sex. 


  1. thinkthinkthink4 posted this